Reaching Out

It's been an interesting week. A recurring theme has come to me, which has to do with people reaching out to one another, to connect, to communicate, to intersect in some way. This isn't always good. It isn't always anything. As is true with everything people do, every encounter can be as different as night and day.

On the one hand, what happens when you feel like you want to reach out to someone, maybe a friend, an acquaintance or even a stranger, because you feel you can help. Perhaps some life event has found you and this person on common ground, sharing some struggle or even a triumph. I received two emails this week, from mothers of disabled children, both whose children were injured unexpectedly, as mine was, right around the same time as my child. We have been in contact through the internet and somehow this week, we came together, all dealing with similar parenting challenges. Due to my knowledge of our shared topic, I feel at ease sharing my opinions, my lessons and my failures.

At the same time, a college course I am taking brought to mind some difficult experiences I had as a child. I have an acquaintance, whose child is going through a similar time and I felt like perhaps I could shed some light, give her some insight that her child could not. But I was not so confident as with my other fellow mothers. Sometimes the messenger is the enemy and I worried that I could incorrectly be comparing myself to her child and that it may actually offend her. So, as much as I wanted to bring her some relief, I opted for a generic message of goodwill, sharing my hope that she and her son come together.

Yesterday was my birthday and I received two very unexpected messages from long lost family members that I haven't spoken to in years. One is a peaceful estrangement, one is someone I have no desire to reconnect with. But the two of them are close, so I have always accepted that the one relationship would have to be a casualty of the other. But the 'peaceful' messages have continued and I am considering responding in a guarded way, to test the waters or at least share a conversation, even if we return to estrangement. I am so afraid to open that door.

Meanwhile, I dabble in online dating. This is the craziest experiment in human connection I have ever experienced. There are so many facets, each of which is worthy of their own blog. How honest are these profiles and what type of dating and relationship experiences have led their participants to reach out to one another in this non-traditional way? When your only initial connection with a stranger is typing and looking at photos, how is it that real emotions can thrive? How much of the way people feel is within themselves and how much is truly a reaction to this other person?

I guess I have never had so much human contact with new people as I have this week. I see it as a good thing, no matter what the root or the outcome. We have to live and touch one another and grow.