It's not just men this year. Valentine's Day has taken quite a beating. Social networking sites are buzzing with the anti-Valentine, the Single Person's Awareness and other substitutions, alternative suggestions for February 14th. Poor, poor Valentine. :(
I am a lover of love. I am one of those annoying people that screams it from the roof tops, whether I am spoken for or not. There is always love to give, to a variety of people around us! For me, Valentine's is second only to my daughter's birthday and the holy grail, Christmas!! (Don't get me started.)
This year, I have a significant other, after a couple years without. I have spent just as many years 'taken' as I have single in my adult life, so I am no stranger, but I definitely prefer the latter, no surprise. My guy is sweet and considerate and a 'keeper.' Or so I thought.
About a week ago, maybe a little longer, it started. The talk about tight budgets and empty pockets, Valentine's isn't a real holiday. What? My internal voice has been on overdrive since then... along with my inbox, once I relayed that conversation to my best friend. It's not that I was expecting a parade or anything, but the man, the grinch, the anti-romantic that was talking that day, just wasn't him. We have only been dating for a few months, so it begged the question. Is this the real him? I thought that I was talking to a stranger... or maybe I had been dating one??
So, he WAS bluffing... which I guess could have been predicted, by everyone but me... and we all breathe a collective sigh of relief. Keeper status intact. But that isn't the story. Do women set themselves up for disappointment? Do we set the bar too high? Is the pressure too great? (Before everyone comments that it's not just women, I am only a women and mostly hang out with women. Theirs are the only opinions I feel qualified to comment on. Thx!)
We complain that men are great at first and then they slowly decline. But is this a monster we have created? Do they walk around with their guts sucked in, saving their lunch money and shining their shoes... all so we can yell at them later for getting fat, poor and sloppy?
Let's face it, dating is a mess, a war zone and you better have a full canteen and an extra pair of socks if you plan to survive it! Women are excellent at knowing what they don't want, where they've crashed and burned in the past, but when they get a little piece of happiness, they drag out the Cosmos and NetFlix Sex in the City and then maybe reality gets a little lost in the walk in!?
So what's the bluff? Men are athletes, they're about performance and results. We want the best and they aim to please, but no one can sprint the whole way. I am learning a lot in my old age (35,) that I wish I knew years ago. I guess that's the only way, but I am trying anyway, to educate the masses. So... I got a dozen red roses for Valentine's, candy, card and bath goodies. Home run. But most days, doesn't a good guy just needs to step up to the plate and swing, in jeans and a sweatshirt, at the ballfield down the street?
I say yes.
You know, the battles and wars; sprints and marathons, you get the idea. Superman was great, but he never did get the girl. :)
I am going to step in and probably be the grinch. I don't need nor want any of the above stated stuff. I am not alone. There are million like me. We are sitting alone today that would do anything at all just for heck even a 5 minute phone call but shoot having our loved one home would put us over the top. To us balloons, roses, candy, & all that other stuff just fades away and really just means very little when they miss so very much. I would do anything today just to feel his arms around me today. To get to here him whisper how much he loves me. At this point all I can even hope for is maybe just maybe they will give him a small amount of time on the boat to email me which I may or may not get before dropping from pure exhaustion. When you find love & I mean that true, honest, pure, love then nothing could ever be bought to compare or express what it is inside. I see it every time he looks at me. I feel it every time he wraps me in his arms. I know it on the other side of a tough battle that we are still standing firm together side by side. But best of all I just get it reaffirmed every day when I still get butterflies as I hear our screen door open as he comes walking in. This is Valentine's Day day in and out so no I don't think all of this stuff is needed with "the right guy." And so for what it was worth that is my 2 cents!
ReplyDeleteI have a great man. He is my soul mate, but I feel regardless if he shows me everyday how much he loves me with all the sweet nothings and all, I still want to be spoiled by him on Valentine's Day. I don't feel as if its too much to ask. I don't think he thinks its to much to ask. But its not one sided. I also took the time and gave him a really nice gift. He was pleased. I don't know, having a disabled child at home doesn't free us up to do much of getting alone time or the sweet nothings so yes on this particular holiday he does. Yes I still get butterflies every time I hear the back door open and I know he has made it home. We are women and we deserve this kind of treatment from time to time. Flowers do fade, candy does get eaten but I still enjoy the fact he took the time. Plus I love the smell of roses and for awhile I get to smell them. Its a simple pleasure and one that I am entitled too. Valentine's may not be for everyone but if the man knows how the woman feels about Valentines then he should do what makes her happy. Flowers-No Flowers etc. I personally love Valentines and had a great one.
ReplyDeletethe funny thing is... I know both of these women... and despite their slightly different points of views, they are very similar and I love em both! :)
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